


Closure

by posabule



Category: We Bare Bears (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Snake Babies, TECHNICALLY fankids..., this is a post-snake babies fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-06-03 12:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19463722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posabule/pseuds/posabule
Summary: Charlie is still having a hard time dealing with the loss of his snake babies and feelings of failed parenthood. Panda, desperate to help, presents him with some caterpillars to care for.





	1. Chapter 1

Panda jumps when he hears an ear-piercing scratch. The dish in his hand clatters into the sink. He’s trying to do the dishes but is unfocused and accidentally scraped a claw against the plate he was holding.

He should be cleaning the dishes while Charlie dries them, like happens most nights, but Charlie uncharacteristically rejected the bears’ dinner invitation tonight.

They had an exhausting day helping Charlie retrieve his lost snake babies. One had almost met its demise, but Charlie had incredibly scaled a cliff to save the creature. Things got even more exhausting, emotionally, when the babies’ parents arrived, and Charlie had to give them up. He had gotten so attached; he fell in love with being a father to the little ones. Panda found it endearing to see him being so nurturing. He knows Charlie is sweet and full of more love than anyone he has ever met, but this was something else.

The bears had invited a dejected Charlie back to the cave so they could play cornhole and give him much needed company. He accepted, and they had a good evening playing cornhole, but it was clear Charlie’s mind wasn’t entirely there. His mood only seemed to falter throughout the evening despite the jolly company of the bears. The loss of the snake babies probably became more evident as time went on. When they asked him to stay for dinner, he rejected the offer. Charlie _never_ rejects dinner with the bears.

Panda had tried to pull Charlie aside and talk to him, but he wouldn’t budge. He clearly wasn’t ready to talk about what happened yet. Panda had just hugged him tight and reminded him he’s here for him. Now, he wishes he had done more, said something different. Maybe he should go check on Charlie now – no, he probably needs space. But he could bring him some leftov – no, no. Earlier he made it clear he wouldn’t be receptive to any sort of attention.

The rest of the time doing dishes Panda spends reliving the day in his head and agonizing over what he could have done to better help Charlie. Eventually, an idea strikes him. It’s perfect. Maybe he can’t redo earlier, but he comes up with the perfect plan to help make Charlie feel better.

He thinks he might know how he can give Charlie a final taste of fatherhood and some closure. At least, until he can be a dad to his own kids one day.

Maybe it’s dumb, maybe Charlie won’t connect with the creatures. But he wants to gather some caterpillars, find a shelter to keep them contained in, and bring them to Charlie for him to raise. This way, Charlie can spend a couple of weeks taking care of them. It’s at least a more fulfilling amount of time than the couple of days he had with the snake babies. He’ll be able to see the caterpillars grow and move through their life cycle. He can eventually send them off as butterflies. This will allow him to see tangible results of his good parenting and he won’t have to take any creatures away from their parents.

It’s the best Panda can do for him. He aches, he wants to do something to help. This might be just what Charlie needs.

So, Panda dries his paws off and runs to the store to grab the supplies he needs.

Really, he just needs to find some sort of netted container to hold the caterpillars in. Nature will provide everything else.

It’s getting late when he returns, and he figures he can wake up early to finish preparing everything. He’ll just need to catch some caterpillars come morning, then he will have all day to help Charlie take care of them.

In the morning, Panda awakens to his bubbly anime theme song alarm. A good start to a good day. He usually has a hard time getting out of bed, but today his nerves and excitement wake him right up. He takes a quick shower and heads to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast for he and Charlie to eat. He runs into his younger brother who is up to prepare breakfast for the brothers. Ice Bear leans against the counter, raising a questioning eyebrow at Panda.

“Oh, hey bro!” Panda nervously says. Oh, yeah. He’ll need to explain to his brothers his mildly embarrassing plan. They’ll think it’s sweet and will agree with it, of course, but he’s sure he will get teased. They’ve asked him numerous times if he’s growing feelings for Charlie, but he has denied it thus far. His brothers have also insisted several times that Charlie has flirted with Panda, which he vehemently denies. Okay, _maybe_ he and Charlie do have something going on, but he himself can’t figure it out. He doesn’t need other people putting ideas in his head or getting involved. He’s confused enough as is.

“No need to make me breakfast! I’m gonna go check on Charlie and bring some food for him,” Panda says when his brother just expectantly stares at him.

“There are poptarts in the pantry,” Ice Bear replies. “Update us on how Charlie is when you can.”

“Oh, thanks! Sure,” Panda says, grabbing the poptarts and then moving to grab a plastic container from the cabinet.

“What’s tupperware for,” Ice Bear asks.

“Oh! Um,” Panda says. He doesn’t know how to make this sound like anything but a romantic gesture. “Well, I was just thinking ‘Oh, Charlie was so sad after losing his snake babies yesterday! I need to do something about this!’ So, I figured I’d help him fill that void with some caterpillars. Was just gonna catch some and help put up a shelter for them, maybe help him raise them until they grow up, you know? Just anything a good friend would do, really.”

“Ice Bear thinks that is perfect way to woo Charlie,” his little brother says. Panda grinds his teeth and turns away, knowing this is a fight he will lose. He quickly gathers up what he needs for his day, including snatching an empty spray bottle from underneath the sink, and heads out the door. “I’ll be home late!” he says on his way out.

Once he has made his way into the woods, Panda punctures the lid of the plastic container with his claws to make some airholes and fills it with some grass and dirt. He just needs it to transport the caterpillars to Charlie’s place, so he isn’t too worried about fancying it up.

He turns over every leaf he can in search of caterpillars until he has gathered five black, white, and yellow striped caterpillars. They’re a little more than an inch long and are quite fat with cute, long black feelers extending from the front and back. Even he, ever squeamish as he is, has to admit they’re pretty adorable. Charlie will love them. He pops the lid on and heads to Charlie’s.

Panda finds Charlie drawing in the dirt near his car-home. He drops the shelter, poptarts, and spray bottle in the bushes nearby so he can easily surprise Charlie with the container of caterpillars, which he hides behind his back. Despite Charlie’s foul mood yesterday, he is rather chipper when he sees Panda.

“Pan-man!” he jumps up to greet the bear, his voice laced with joy. His dark undereye circles that he had yesterday have, thankfully, faded. “What’re you doing here? It’s so early!”

A string of dreadful thoughts file through Panda’s brain just as he’s about to present Charlie with the caterpillars. God, what if it’s too soon? What if the subject of fatherhood is genuinely too sensitive, too raw? What if Charlie doesn’t care about bugs like he does animals?

He takes a deep breath and pulls the caterpillars out from behind his back, peeling the lid off.

“Uh, ta-da!” he nervously exclaims.

Charlie peers down inside the container and then shoots Panda a curious look. “Some caterpillars? They’re awful cute!”

Despite his confused reaction, he puts his finger next to one so it can crawl onto his hand. When it obliges, he giggles and happily plays around with it.

“Yeah! I thought maybe, after yesterday,” he really should have thought through how to word this to Charlie. He feels ridiculous giving the man some caterpillars. Now that he thinks about it, he thinks he has seen Charlie eat caterpillars before. Well, too late now. “I thought it might be nice if we could raise some caterpillars together? We can see them grow, and, you know. It could be fun,” he finally spits out, his voice laced with hesitance.

Charlie’s eyes glimmer in response. He peers into the container with a warm look.

“Panda,” he softly says. “You wanna raise ‘em with me?” he glances up at Panda.

That’s not the part Panda thought Charlie would fixate on. Panda is so flustered; he has no idea how he will manage to answer. “Y-Yeah! Charlie, I just. You’re a wonderful dad, you deserve to show that off. And I’d love to help!”

And god is he a good dad. He turns and runs to rummage through his car until he comes out wearing two of the same neon-colored fanny packs he used to care for the snake babies. They are strapped around his waist and he has a baby bottle in hand. The third fanny pack, the pink one, he holds out to Panda.

“Here you go! If you’re gonna be a dad, you’ll need this,” he proudly states.

Panda’s eye twitches. “Charlie, what do you even have in these? I don’t think a caterpillar will need much more than leaves, water, and sunlight.”

“Nonsense!” Charlie says. He dumps the contents of his fanny packs onto the ground. “Let’s see. We got baby powder, some pacifiers, diapers, cheesy poofs, a rattle, a blanket. Really everything a baby needs, pumpkin!” Charlie beams up at Panda.

None of these will be of any use to the caterpillars. The cheesy poofs in them are stale, the pacifiers, diapers, and rattle much too large, and a caterpillar just has no use for baby powder or a blanket. Still, Panda decides it isn’t worth it to fight Charlie on this. It’ll make him happy if he humors him, and that is all Panda wants. He snaps the pink fanny pack into place around his waist and shoots Charlie a big smile.

Charlie puts his hands on his heart. “Pan Pan, you already look like a dad!” he gushes.

Panda can feel his face warm. He didn’t really consider that this might lead to him being a dad _with_ Charlie for a couple of weeks – he thought he’d just stop by every day or so to see how things are going and if he can help - but he is more than pleased with the results. It’s probably for the best, anyway, remembering how carried away Charlie got when he took care of the snake babies. He put his all into it and forgot to take care of himself. Now, Panda can make sure Charlie is also taken care of.

“Let me see the little fellas! We gotta name them! Oh, and where are they going to live? They deserve better than this here container,” Charlie says. He’s holding the container of caterpillars close to him, excitedly watching them wiggle around.

“Oh!” Panda says. He runs over to grab the mesh cube, spray bottle, and poptarts from the bush he left them in. “I figured I could set up this mesh shelter near here for them to live so they can have a nice area outside to roam, but we can still keep track of them. I also brought some poptarts for breakfast. Blueberry, your favorite!” Panda hands Charlie the poptarts and moves to find somewhere to place the shelter.

He places it just a few feet from the car and fills it with fresh milkweed which he sprays water onto with the bottle. Easy to set up. When he finishes, he walks over to Charlie who is crouched next to the container of bugs. He is looking at them, seemingly deep in thought.

“What’re you doing?” Panda asks, placing a paw on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Hm?” Charlie replies. “Oh! I’m thinking of names for ‘em! I think this one’s Leggy, this here is Joey, this is Catie, and this is Margo!” he says as he points at each one, smiling proudly. He picks up the fifth caterpillar and holds it out to Panda. “But I don’t know what to name this one! What do you think?”

Panda takes it from Charlie’s hand and observes it. He is touched Charlie wants him to name one. “Hm, maybe Mona? Like monarch, since they’re going to be monarch butterflies,” he feels kind of stupid explaining himself.

Charlie gasps and puts his arm around Panda, pulling him in. “Aww, Pan-man, it’s perfect! How adorable. You really got the cutest little kids for us.”

Panda almost chokes on his own spit when he sees Charlie is giving him the _softest_ look he has ever seen.

“Thanks,” he replies. He cannot conjure up any further response; his brain has been turned to mush by that soft face. Panda focuses on the caterpillar in his paw while he tries and gathers himself

The day goes by remarkably fast. The caterpillars might not do much but were still fascinating to observe. They had a good time assigning personality traits and thoughts to each bug. The two naturally assumed their own roles with Charlie making sure there is always fresh, dewy milkweed in the shelter and Panda keeping the caterpillar home clean. Panda may have also occupied himself with some scrubbing down of Charlie’s car. He’s amazed at how many orange-covered wipes he came away with when he finished wiping it down.

By sunset, they’re lounging in the back of Charlie’s car, Panda gently scolding him about wiping his cheese-dust covered fingers on his car’s upholstery.

“There’s no need for me to be wasteful by using a paper towel!” Charlie says, rejecting Panda’s offer to bring him some next time he goes out. “I’ll just lick my fingers next time.”

Panda pouts and gives him a pointed look. “Why do I bother.”

Charlie gives him a goofy grin and pulls him into a hug. “Because you ca-are!” Charlie says, singsonging the word ‘care’.

Panda’s face is uncomfortably smushed against Charlie’s body, but he still puts an arm around Charlie in return and gently pats him.

When he pulls away, Panda notices how tired Charlie looks. It isn’t the same exhausted look Charlie had after taking care of the snake babies, thankfully, but the day of parenting has obviously drained his energy. It was surprisingly exhausting taking care of caterpillars. Sure, maybe they did get a little too into it and take things more seriously than they had to, but it was fun. For being just some caterpillars, they were entertaining to be around. According to Charlie, bug sentience is not on the same level as animals, and he cannot communicate with them, but he clearly values their life just as much as anything else’s. It’s endearing.

“Charlie, you should get some sleep soon,” Panda says. “It’s been a long day.”

Charlie softly chuckles. “You too, Pan-man. You’re looking awful sleepy,” he says, scratching underneath Panda’s chin. Panda’s stomach flips at the gentle touch.

“Aw, I hope they’ll be alright out there all night,” Charlie says, turning his head to look out at the mesh cube the caterpillars are in, barely illuminated by the last bits of sunlight. The sound of crickets and cicadas has slowly been getting louder, the air a little more chilled.

Panda doesn’t want the day to end, doesn’t want to leave Charlie’s side. He feels like he is in some magical haze. It feels so delicate; the smallest thing could disturb it. He doesn’t want to leave for fear the feeling will, too.

He’s unsure if Charlie expects him to stay the night or not, but he hasn’t mentioned anything about Panda going back home despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to make his way back in the dark.

He feels slightly guilty about leaving his brothers without telling them he would be gone for so long, but they know he is safe with Charlie. If they get worried, they can easily check on him.

“So, do you mind if I spend the night?” Panda asks, trying – and failing – to sound nonchalant.

Charlie turns and meets his eyes with a surprised look, which quickly changes to a warm smile.

“Pan-man, you’re always welcome here!” Charlie says, moving to pop his trunk and rummage through it.

“What’re you looking for?” Panda shouts out to him, peering out the back window.

He sees Charlie piling blankets into his arms, but it is way too many for them to need. He’s never even seen Charlie use a blanket, why does he have so many?

“I’m just gonna stuff the floor area to even it up back here! It’s pretty roomy already, but it’ll be cozier with the whole back area for us to sleep.”

_Us?_ Panda hadn’t considered where he’d sleep. Maybe recline the passenger seat, but that would restrict Charlie’s space in the back… He is perfectly content, although overwhelmed, at the idea of sleeping snugly against Charlie in the back of his car.

Charlie meticulously folds the blankets up and fills in the floor space until he can push his hand down with little give.

“Perfect!” he says, moving to put the rest of the blankets back. He peeks his head back into the car. “I’m gonna do one last check on the little ones, and then I’ll be ready to cozy up for bed. You should settle on in! Make yourself at home.”

Panda gives him a nervous, gentle grin in response and then tries to settle down. He lays down on the backseat and faces the back, figuring it would be the least awkward position. He wishes he had asked for a pillow, or at least a blanket to fold up and use as a pillow, but he’d feel awkward asking now. He’d want one for his head and one to hug since he doesn’t have Miki-Chan or any of his plushes – it’s fine, he’ll manage. It’ll be comforting enough having Charlie’s body next to him.

He closes his eyes and tries not to focus too hard on how any moment now Charlie will be laying mere inches from him, gently, vulnerably sleeping. He’s trusted Panda into his small home, trusts him enough to sleep next to him. He knows how hard trusting can be for Charlie.

The muffled noise of Charlie saying good night to each caterpillar drifts into the car. Soon, the door is carefully opened, and Charlie tries to slip inside as quietly as possible, clearly trying to avoid disturbing Panda.

Panda has dreamed about being in a situation like this about a billion times. Usually they’re in his bed, cuddled up, sharing secrets and giggling at dumb jokes. So, they’re not in his bed, but they _are_ sleeping next to one another, which is the heart of the fantasy, really. He is sure he will not gather up any sort of confidence to be able to try and cuddle with Charlie right now, and he doesn’t even know if he can bring himself to say good night to Charlie, let alone have a competent conversation with him.

When Charlie has finally settled down, his fur is just barely touching Panda’s. Their closeness makes him shiver.

“You cold, Pan Pan?” Charlie asks in a soft whisper. It’s right by his ear and he’s thankful he somehow didn’t shiver again. “I can grab you a blanket from the back. I can’t believe I didn’t even think you might want one!”

“N-no, no, I’m good! Thank you,” he says, feeling stupidly formal.

“Alright, pumpkin,” Charlie replies, promptly wrapping his arm around Panda’s waist and snuggling in close. Panda’s heart stops.

“Sweet dreams,” Charlie whispers, seemingly oblivious to the gay panic Panda is in right now. Thank god.

“Night,” Panda barely manages to squeak out. He tentatively starts to move his arm to put it over Charlie’s and gently cups his hand with his paw.

He tries his best to absorb this moment, this closeness. Burn the sweet feeling into his brain forever. His heart pounds at the thought that every night they take care of the caterpillars might be like this. He never could have imagined such a perfect outcome to his present.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did slightly rearrange the show's timeline by making "Tabes & Charlie" happen before "Snake Babies" in this!!!

After two days, Panda comes back to the cave so he can shower and update his brothers on what’s going on. He never told them he was going to be spending an extended period of time at Charlie’s since it hadn’t been the initial plan. They must be concerned, or at least confused. He feels guilty for leaving them for so long without telling them, but he has been so caught up hanging out with Charlie and the caterpillars. Charlie has become addicting.

When he opens the door to the cave, his brothers are watching tv on the couch. Grizz jumps up and runs over to him.

“Pan Pan! You’re back!” he exclaims.

“Grizz, little bro! I missed you guys!” Panda says, moving to greet them both with a hug.

“Aw, we missed you too! I’m surprised you’ve made it living outside this long. What, are you just sleeping on the ground?”

“N-no. I’ve just been. Sleeping in his car,” Panda replies, stifled and awkward. His brothers are going to see right through him, and he is not ready for the teasing and prodding to come.

“Huh,” Grizz says, clearly unsure how he wants to respond to that. Thank god he’s seemingly filtering himself. “How are the caterpillars doing? Are you still doing that? Little bro told me what little you told him. It seems like a great idea! Proud of you for stepping up like this.”

“Yeah! We set up a home for them and have been keeping an eye on them. Charlie’s gotten pretty into it.” So has he, but he doesn’t need to point that out. His brother will interpret whatever Panda says how he wants to, anyway.

Grizz shoots him a smug smile. “So, what, are you two dads now? That’s so cute! Pan Pan!” Okay, if Grizz is trying to filter himself, he is not doing it very well.

“We’re not dads!” he hisses. “They’re caterpillars, Grizz. You know I don’t even like bugs.”

Panda immediately feels bad for being so dismissive of the caterpillars. He _does_ care about them. A lot. A few of them had molted yesterday and he had felt so proud of them. Proud of he and Charlie. They had been on their toes all day, excitedly waiting to see who would be next. They carefully watched so they wouldn’t miss a molting. He’s pretty sure he saw Charlie tear up at one point.

It was incredible seeing the bugs progress through their lives. They were really amazing creatures.

“Alright, alright!” Grizz says, defensively holding his paws up. “Is there anything we can do for you, bro?”

Panda sighs. He feels bad about getting so riled up. Then again, Grizz always pushes things too far. He never knows when to lay off. Panda knows he cares a lot and his teasing is nothing but harmless. He tries to remind himself of this.

“Nah, I think we’re doing okay. Caterpillars are pretty low maintenance,” he says with an awkward chuckle.

“Well, if you need any Charlie advice-“

“Grizz, stop it!” Panda fumes, cutting him off. “I’m gonna go shower. I’ll talk to you guys before I leave,” he says, trying his best to control his temper.

The shower is much appreciated. The warm water relaxes his muscles and the familiar smell of his soaps comforts him. Yesterday, he had bathed in the creek at Charlie’s suggestion, but it wasn’t the same as taking a warm, clean watered shower. He was surprised at how fresh the creek had made him feel, though.

As Panda lathers his fur up with shampoo, Grizz’s comment about he and Charlie being dads echoes in his mind. He guesses they are, sort of. They’re two men taking care of young bugs. Helping them grow up and being nurturing. Together.

He covers his face with his paws and tries to organize his thoughts. Process everything. He focuses on the repetitive sound of the water pouring out of the showerhead and hitting the ground to try and reset his mind. His brain keeps rolling back over how nice it is to be spending time with Charlie. He wants to finish his shower as fast as possible and race back. He feels like he’s wasting time when he isn’t with Charlie. It’s like he is being tugged back there by some invisible force.

But is this just like the obsession he tends to get with girls all too easily? Where he quickly becomes entirely absorbed in them and he always crashes and burns? His brain spirals through numerous fears and incomprehensible feelings.

He feels horrible when he gets out. He was expecting a cozy visit back home where he could catch up with his brothers and relax with a warm shower. Instead, he got barraged with invasive questions and ruined his mood with negative thoughts in the shower.

Panda shuts himself into his room and tries to calm himself down before he has to interact with his brothers again. He really does want to have a nice talk with them, he just is having a hard time controlling himself. Hopefully Grizz has gotten the hint to stop with the prodding. Unlikely, but he will try his best to contain himself if Grizz pushes it again. He’ll utilize deflection if he must.

After a quick pep-talk with his plushes, he finally goes to chat with his brothers.

“Hey bud,” Grizz hesitantly greets him from the couch.

“Hey,” Panda waves, moving to go sit down next to them. He settles down in his usual spot at the end. “So, what are you guys up to today?”

“Oh!” Grizz starts, any tension seemingly dissipating already. His brother is so good at overcoming awkwardness, thank god. “We’re going to this really awesome taco festival, you planning on sticking around? You can bring Charlie!” 

Well, this is a good opening to explain to them that he will be staying with Charlie for an undetermined amount of time.

“Sounds delicious! But I think I’ll skip out on it. And I don’t think Charlie is ready for crowds like that yet. Actually, I’m probably going to be spending a bit at Charlie’s place. Just until the caterpillars grow up. He really needs my help,” Panda half lies. He does really worry the man might go out of control if he were left alone with the caterpillars. His personality is exorbitant. But he mostly will be there because he wants to be around Charlie and now has the perfect excuse to stick around.

“That’s so nice of you Pan Pan! It’s good to see you stepping up like this after all this time. Charlie really admires you, I’m sure it means the world to him to have your help,” Grizz remarks, a small smile spread across his face.

“Yeah,” Panda sighs, solemnly looking down at his paws. Only recently has he started to treat Charlie the kind way he deserves to be treated. The more time he spends with Charlie, the more he becomes painfully aware of the ill way he used to interact with the man. “I have a lot to make up to him for.”

His older brother reaches over and rubs his back, giving him a pat before he pulls away. “I hope you have a good time with him. Just run over if there is anything you need, okay? And, hey, if you need a babysitter so you and Charlie can have a fun night out, little bro and I would always be glad to watch the little ones!”

It is a genuinely nice offer for them to babysit for the caterpillars. Panda can’t begin to express his appreciation for his brothers.

“Thanks, Grizz,” he says with a shy smile. “We’ll probably be okay, but I’ll keep that in mind. I need to head out, but have a good time at the festival, guys!”

They share their goodbyes. While it was nice to see his brothers, he jogs back to Charlie’s car. He needs him. 

That night, as the sun sets, Panda and Charlie sit against Charlie’s car, watching the sky, the caterpillars, and each other. Well, Panda sure is watching Charlie, and he’d like to think he keeps catching Charlie admiring him, but he can’t be sure.

Panda closes his eyes as he absorbs the pleasant warmth from the last bits of sunlight. The gentle buzzing of the cicadas around them. The warmth of Charlie’s arm touching his. The feeling of Catie gently wriggling in his paw. Charlie is holding Leggy who seems to be snoozing in his hand. He’s lightly stroking her with his finger pad. They try to cycle through spending time with each of them, but these two are by far the easiest to hold. The rest tend to endlessly attempt escapes.

Charlie absentmindedly hums next to him, and it is somehow more beautiful than the streaks of orange and pink coloring the sky above them. He wants to peek over at him, but he doesn’t want Charlie to notice and stop.

Panda can’t fight the large grin that spreads across his face. He feels euphoric. He can’t help but start to giggle.

“What?” Charlie asks, looking over at him with a smirk.

“Nothing,” Panda airily replies. He looks away from Charlie, trying to hide his smile. Charlie is just so _cute_ , and his heart is overwhelmed.

“I know you’re not laughing for no reason!” Charlie says, giving Panda a teasing prod.

Panda finally looks over at him, not even caring that he surely has a visible blush. “Just, your humming. It was nice.”

Charlie blushes, too. “Aw, it was nothing.”

There’s a silence between them, neither seeming to know what to say next, but it’s a pleasant lull. Panda moves to put Catie back with her siblings and silently holds his paws out to Charlie to see if he wants Leggy put away too. He silently obliges.

When Panda settles back against the car, against Charlie, he rests his head on the man and lets out a happy sigh. Charlie slowly moves his arm up and around Panda, causing Panda’s head to now rest against his chest. His hand comes to rest on Panda’s arm opposite of him. Panda’s eyes widen a little, but he quickly relaxes. He’s learning to accept and appreciate Charlie’s warm gestures. The closeness is nice.

Panda lazily watches as the last bits of color and light leave the sky. The sky is now mostly overtaken by a sleepy blue with a couple stars beginning to pop up. The gentle rise and fall of Charlie’s chest and softness of his fur brings Panda to a level of calmness he has never felt before.

“You know,” Charlie murmurs. Panda can feel his chest rumble as he speaks. “You helping me take care of these critters, doing all of this, really means the world to me.”

His words come out so tender and raw. It makes Panda almost tear up. He swallows the lump that forms in his throat.

“Yeah, Charlie, I’m really glad I could do this for you,” he quietly replies. He _really_ wants to express to Charlie how much he deserves it, and how much he is enjoying this, but he is _really_ not good with words. He can feel Charlie looking down at him, which makes him nervous. “Like, you’re such a great guy! You have a lot of care and love, I wanted you to be able to let it out. And it’s really nice spending time with you. I didn’t think I could become so attached to some bugs, but you work wonders.”

Charlie is silent for a moment before Panda feels him place a soft kiss against his temple. He wonders if their kids have cocooned up and turned into butterflies right in his stomach.

“Panda,” Charlie says, his voice cracking at the end. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I’ve made that much of an impact?”

It burns where his temple was kissed. He is so fixated on it, he can barely process Charlie’s words. He is so smitten, he cannot filter himself.

“Yes, Charlie! You’re so warm and full of love, it’s infectious.”

Charlie makes a noise that is a whimper of sorts and squeezes him, leaning his head on Panda’s. Since Panda’s head had already been resting on the man’s chest, he is being held _tight_.

“Oh Pan Pan,” he coos. They spend a minute doing what Panda can’t describe as anything but cuddling. He closes his eyes and nestles further into the man’s fur.

They silently enjoy one another’s warmth in the tight embrace for a few minutes as the sound of crickets and frogs comfortingly plays around them. The sky is dark now, more and more stars becoming visible.

“Those snake babies,” Charlie breaks the silence, his head still resting on Panda’s. “I was real torn up about losing them. It hurt lots. But this, this has really helped me. I know I have lots of time to be a dad to a kid all of my own, but it’s nice having this for now. And I did feel like a failure losing track of all the snake babies and endangering Panda Jr.’s life like that. Almost got him killed…”

“Charlie-“

“But our new little babies are making me feel like maybe I am capable and worthy of parenting! Don’t worry, Pan Pan. I’m trying to not beat myself up over the snakes. You’ve helped.”

“It really wasn’t your fault. You were a great parent to them. It’s just really hard being a single parent! And it was not remotely your fault that Panda Jr. got snatched up. And look at all the trouble you went through to get him back. I don’t know anyone else who would do that for someone! I don’t think I’d even do that to get one of my brothers back,” Panda comforts Charlie. He hopes Charlie doesn’t take that poor attempt at a joke at the end too seriously. He would go to the ends of the earth for his brothers, though he isn’t sure he’d be physically capable.

Charlie sighs and Panda can feel the hot breath against his head. It makes his ear twitch.

“I know. I still miss the snakes, but I know I’ll see ‘em again. Having our little fellas to focus on has refilled my heart.”

Panda’s so glad Charlie is being open about the snake babies. It shows he has his trust and that he is recovering.

He wonders why fatherhood is so important to Charlie, but he figures that is a conversation for another day. Their time now is about healing.

“It really is fulfilling taking care of them. I think I’m starting to see how you can feel so warm towards forest creatures,” Panda admits. I mean, if he has grown fond of some caterpillars, surely becoming attached to some snakes would be even easier. Especially for someone like Charlie who can communicate with snakes. Maybe Panda could learn to communicate with them too.

“Huh, how about that. Pan Pan finally coming around to the forest,” Charlie marvels.

“Yeah, yeah,” Panda airily says, trying to brush it off. Though, he can’t help but stay soft. “I really am glad I have you to show me how beautiful everything out here is.”

“Yeah?” Charlie warmly asks.

“Yeah,” Panda responds.

He has only been living in the forest for a couple of days, but he is already noticing so many details he usually doesn’t. Charlie always points out when the sun is streaming through the trees, creating magical beams. Or when a line of ants is marching through, carrying mounds of food on their backs. Or just how many beautifully colored and patterned birds you can see when you look up at the trees. Charlie often will let out an “Ooh!” and excitedly identify a bird when he sees or hears one. It’s charming.

Panda also didn’t know bugs could be such individuals. He is surprised at how varied the personalities of the caterpillars are. All the bugs love to eat, but Mona is always chomping on some leaves. Leggy always seems to be asleep. She is a docile baby. Margo constantly hangs off of stuff. He’s always scared she is going to fall and get hurt, but Charlie insists she’ll be fine. They often have such a hard time finding Joey, they are always hiding. Catie just seems like a big sweetheart. It’s almost like she tries to cuddle.

“Everything out here really means a lot to me. I’m glad you’re opening up to it. Makes me happier than anything,” Charlie softly rejoices, nuzzling against Panda.

They spend a couple hours cuddling and dozing outside under the stars until they finally move back into the car where they spoon together like seems to be becoming their usual.

The next morning, Panda wakes to Charlie frantically shaking him.

“Pan Pan, Pan Pan!” comes Charlie’s worried voice. “Wake up!”

“Hm?” Panda shoots up, the bigfoot’s worry quickly dissipating any sleep from his brain.

Charlie grabs his arm and starts to pull him out of bed. “It’s Catie! She’s not moving much and she seems a lil’ dry. I don’t know, I tried to give her some water and spritzed her a bit with the bottle, but it hasn’t helped.”

Charlie leads him over to the plastic container Panda had initially carried them over in.

“I isolated her just in case. So she can’t get the rest of the kids sick,” Charlie explains.

Catie is still moving; good sign. She does look off, though. He really should have done more research on caterpillars before he decided to embark on an adventure to take care of these living creatures with the currently delicate Charlie.

Panda puts his paw on Charlie’s shoulder and comfortingly rubs it. “How long has it been since you sprayed her?” he asks.

“I dunno, about half an hour?” Charlie says. “Oh, Pan Pan, what do we do? I feel so bad for the little thing.”

Charlie looks absolutely devastated and Panda feels so guilty. He put him in this situation. He was underprepared and now he might create a Charlie who feels like an even worse father than before and who is suffering from even worse loss. At least the snake babies he lost are still alive.

“I-I’ll fix this!” he exclaims. He’s upset, but he tries to mask this. If Charlie can see his worry, he’ll probably just worry even more.

Panda doesn’t know how he himself can fix this, but he knows who can. There’s just one problem.

“Uh, I think Ranger Tabes would know what to do, but would you be okay with me bringing her here? I know it can be hard for you around humans.”

“Yeah, that’d be fine!” Charlie says to Panda’s surprise. “I hung out with her the other day, actually. She’s pretty cool for a human!”

“What?” Panda sputters. Despite he and his brothers’ reassurances, Charlie had previously really tried to hide himself from Tabes.

“Yeah, she lost her dog and I helped her find him. What was his name, Cake? Real cute pooch.” Charlie, thankfully, seems to be a little cheered up from reminiscing about Kirk.

Panda would be surprised about Tabes not gushing about finally being able to hang out with the mysterious bigfoot who lives in her woods if when she came back that night, she hadn’t been too busy cleaning up the mess he and his brothers left. They left quite the amount of cleanup work for her that night. Oops.

“Oh, good! Then let me go grab her. Even if the station isn’t open yet, she’s probably awake,” Panda says. It’s 6 am and the sun has just risen. The sky is a sleepy shade of light blue mixed with pale yellow.

He gives Charlie a comforting hug and reassures him all will turn out fine before he heads off. When he arrives at the station, Tabes is lively as ever and seems confident she can help him. She puts a few supplies in a bag and follows Panda back to Charlie.

When they arrive, Charlie is nervously cradling the container with the ill caterpillar in it. Relief floods his face when he sees the two arrive. When Charlie hands the container over to Tabes so she can examine it, Panda moves to put his paw on Charlie’s back and rub it in an attempt to soothe the man.

“So,” Tabes says, glancing up at the two. “You two are dads now, huh? I didn’t even know you were together!”

Panda pauses his rubbing of Charlie’s back and sputters. Charlie jumps to respond.

“Oh, yeah! Been taking care of these little sweethearts for a couple days now. Little Pan Pan gathered them up for us,” Charlie says with a sunny smile.

Panda’s face is bright red. He isn’t sure if Charlie realizes Tabes meant she didn’t know they were _dating_. Does Charlie think they are dating? Are they dating? “Together” is vague, Charlie could have interpreted that as anything. Technically speaking they have been together the past few days. They’ve been. Near each other.

“Aw, isn’t that the sweetest thing!” Tabes exclaims, trapping the two in a hug.

“I’m happy for you, stripes,” she whispers to Panda. He’s too flustered to respond to either of them, too flustered to try and correct anyone.

Tabes pulls away and begins to assemble something from the items in her bag.

“Alright, put Miss Catie in this here humidifier and she should be looking good as new in a few hours!” Tabes says, handing them the plastic container which now holds a wet paper towel, a plant with its roots attached, and some wet leaves. “Keep her here until she starts to look better, then it should be okay to put her back with the others. She seems to be dehydrated! Just make sure the leaves always have water droplets on them and all the little ones should remain healthy.”

Charlie audibly sighs in relief. Panda looks up at him and they share a content smile.

“Thank you so much, Tabes!” Charlie swallows her in a hug.

“I am just doing my service to the forest! Call me if any other problems arise. I will leave you two to it,” Tabes salutes them and heads back towards the station.

Once she is gone, Charlie slumps against the car and puts his head in his lap.

“Oh, Panda. This is my fault, I’ve been the one in charge of keeping things moist! And now Catie is suffering because of my neglect,” he cries. “I shouldn’t be trusted with anything.”

Panda runs over to him in a panic and puts his hands on his shoulders.

“No, you’ve been doing a great job! If anything, it would be my fault too for not making sure things were moist enough. But they were, our upkeep has been great! They’re just fragile creatures. We can’t control everything,” Panda desperately contends.

Charlie shyly meets Panda’s eyes. He gives him a soft smile in hopes it will comfort him. Charlie gives him a small smile in return. Success.

“I guess,” Charlie sighs. “I just hate feeling so helpless. And they don’t deserve to suffer, why can’t I take their illness for them! My body can take anything!”

“Well, the rest are perfectly healthy. We must be doing something right. And don’t say that! You don’t deserve to be sick.”

“Yeah but at least I know what’s happening unlike those poor things,” Charlie mumbles. He sighs and rests his head against the car, closing his eyes. “Thanks for the comfort, Pan Pan. I really wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

“Of course, man! I’m here for you,” he says, gently taking Charlie’s hand.

They spend the rest of the day anxiously watching Catie. Panda takes extra care to pamper Charlie, trying his best to soothe the poor man. He goes into town and gets them mozzarella sticks for lunch, one of Charlie’s favorites. Panda has blown him away by showing him the world of varied cheese dishes out there. Another one of Charlie’s favorites is grilled cheese sandwiches which, thankfully, Panda can easily make despite his lack of culinary skills. A simple grilled cheese with cheesy poofs shoved inside is an easy way to make the man swoon.

They sit in the car with the container Catie is in and Panda tells him goofy stories of adventures he’s had with his brothers. The stories do a good job distracting Charlie who heartily laughs throughout. When Panda suggests Charlie should go out with them sometime, Charlie almost jumps out of his seat. They decide that as soon as they’re free from the bounds of parenthood, they’ll plan something with the brothers. And Panda can choose out whatever outfit he pleases to disguise Charlie with.

After just a few hours, Catie seems revived. She’s back to her normal self, to their relief. When they put her back with her siblings, she excitedly wriggles around and climbs over them.

The next day, Panda puts plans into action to help them destress from the health scare.

After breakfast, which was a variety of berries Charlie had gone out and picked, Panda grabs his art supplies and snacks for a perfect summery painting dat-day. Panda shakes his head, trying to dispel the idea that any of their time together has been romantic. He’s having a fun time with his best friend. Charlie is naturally warm and touchy. He doesn’t want to take advantage of that.

While he moves to set up for their painting session, Charlie leans against the car, soaking up the sun. He has his eyes closed, head angled slightly up towards the sky. He reminds Panda of a sunbathing cat, contentedly holding its head up. He sets up the two easels next to one another, angled slightly away from one another. Next, he turns to the supplies he grabbed for snacks. It’s a warm day, perfect for a refreshing beverage. There is no drink Panda loves more than lemonade, pink lemonade. He figures it will be the perfect refresher while they paint together under the hot son. He freshly squeezed it this morning, loading it with tons of sugar. He’s not usually much of a diy-guy, but no store brand makes it right.

As he sets everything up, he can’t help but keep glancing over at Charlie, admiring the serene man. This time when he sneaks a glance over at Charlie, he catches Charlie peeking over at him, too. He quickly averts his eyes and hurriedly continues on with his business, trying to pretend like he wasn’t staring at him.

“Alright Charlie, are you ready for your art lesson?” Panda asks, approaching the lazing man.

Charlie pops open an eye and grins. “You betcha!” he says. Panda offers him a hand which he gladly takes, letting Panda help pull him up.

They saunter over to the easels Panda set up, Charlie’s mouth moving into an ‘o’ shape as he sees the full set up.

“Woah, Pan Pan!” Charlie exclaims, running his fingers over all the brushes and paint bottles Panda set up. “You really okay with me using all your stuff? I’m probably just going to make a mess of it.”

“Of course,” Panda laughs. “Don’t worry about it. Art is supposed to be messy!”

Ok, usually Panda isn’t willing to tolerate mess. And he isn’t so messy when he does art, but he is also usually set up in his bedroom. But they’re outside, and he is more zen than he has been in years. The only thing that could upset him is a disturbance of he and Charlie’s peace.

“I do have this to make sure you don’t cover yourself in paint. It’s hard to get paint out of fur once it dries,” Panda says, holding out an apron. He hands it to Charlie who slips it over his head. Panda moves to gently fasten it in the back, tying it into a bow. He gives the bow a pat once he’s done. When he backs away, Charlie gives a little twirl to show off his new gear.

“Heh, see, you already look like an artist!” Panda exclaims, clapping at Charlie’s little performance.

Charlie seems to take that compliment to heart and responds with a proud grin.

“Alright then, let me show off my skill! How should I begin?”

Panda hands Charlie some brushes and a palette that has a few dollops of paint on it.

“There’s not much to it, really. Just… dip a brush in the paint and make some strokes! If you need more colors, the rest of the paints are over there,” he says, pointing to the bag he brought them in. Charlie intently listens. “Or you can mix colors together if you need something I don’t have. Oh, and when you want to use a different color, make sure you clean your brush in this water so you don’t mix colors you don’t want to!”

Charlie nods down at him. “Got it!”

He thoughtfully looks at his canvas, sticking the tip of his paint brush’s handle in his mouth as he thinks. Panda watches him out of the corner of his eye, waiting until Charlie starts before he himself does. After a minute, Charlie droops and turns to Panda.

“I don’t know what to paint! How do I decide?” he whines.

“You can start out small. Until you’re feeling inspired. Like, just start off with a tree or something!” Panda encourages. “I have a few canvases, so you can experiment a bit.”

He probably should have just brought some paper since canvases cost a lot more and Charlie does not care what they paint on, but he wanted to bring him the best experience possible.

Charlie stands there squinting at his canvas for a while longer.

“I dunno, Pan Pan,” he eventually sighs out. “I’m not feeling any of this scenery.”

“Okay,” Panda purses his lips in thought. “Maybe, like, look deep within yourself. Think about something really meaningful to you and try to paint that. A thing, an emotion. It can be abstract! Even just a bunch of shapes can have meaning. Oh, how about one of your snake friends? That could be fun to paint.”

Charlie’s face lights up. “Oh, I know! Perfect, perfect!” he says, moving his easel to further angle it away from Panda. Panda raises an eyebrow.

“What did you decide on?” he asks.

“Nooothing,” Charlie singsongs, giving Panda a sly smile.

“Charlie!” Panda cries. “Tell me!”

“No!” Charlie giggles out. “It’s a secret. You’ll see when I’m done!”

“Hmph,” Panda pouts. Charlie responds with a crinkle-eyed smile that Panda returns.

Finally, Charlie starts to make strokes at his canvas, so Panda turns to prepare for his own piece.

Before he begins, though, he remembers the lemonade and grabs the cups, sliding Charlie’s next to the water cup placed between them. Each drink is outfitted with a white straw and colorful paper umbrella.

“Hm?” Charlie says, looking down at the cup. “What’s this? It’s so pretty!”

“I made us some lemonade! Perfectly refreshing for a hot day like this!” He proudly states.

“Oh! Why’s it pink?”

“It’s more aesthetically pleasing this way,” Panda says, trying to sound elegant. “I just put in some drops of food coloring.”

Charlie’s eyes are glimmering like a child as he plays around with the red umbrella on his drink and takes a sip. “This is amazing! Panda, you really have a magic touch. Even your drinks are art! Art for all the senses,” Charlie remarks, his eyes closed as he happily sips from the straw.

Panda can’t help but blush. Charlie’s compliments are always so sincere and perfectly worded.

They spend a couple of hours painting, the warm sun blanketing them in pleasant golden light all day. The lemonade keeps them cool and the company is beyond pleasant. They chatter and giggle, Panda not giving up on trying to guess what Charlie is painting. Panda decides not to tell Charlie what he’s painting either. It’s only fair. He opts for a picture of the caterpillars, nothing too special. He knows Charlie will appreciate it, nonetheless. It’s a safe choice for him since he knows he won’t be able to tarnish it with his crude anime style. He would have to take a lot of creative liberties to give the caterpillars sparkly anime eyes.

At one point, Charlie playfully flicks his paintbrush at Panda, splattering his fur with paint. He usually would be annoyed at this, even if his brothers had done it. Before they started, he told Charlie how hard paint can be to get out of fur. Oddly, he doesn’t care. He looks down in shock and falls into a fit of giggles, assaulting Charlie back in the same fashion. They don’t let things get too out of control, but their back and forth gives Panda a nice spattering of blue paint on his fur, and Charlie a nice spattering of yellow.

During a break of lemonade and snacks, Charlie asks Panda to close his eyes. He obliges and feels something being placed behind his ear. When he opens them, he’s met with Charlie giving him the silliest grin mere inches from his face. He reaches up to feel what he put there. It’s one of the paper umbrellas from the lemonade. “It looks cute on you!” Charlie insists. Panda keeps it on.

They manage to down the whole pitcher of lemonade, Charlie drinking most of it. He makes sure to let Panda know just how much he loves it almost every time he goes for a sip. Panda internally revels in the shower of compliments.

Unsurprisingly, Charlie finishes his painting before Panda does. Panda is being especially meticulous today, wanting to really impress Charlie with his skill. He knows he did before when he painted him for his art class, but he still feels like he has to prove himself. He tries his best to make the most photorealistic painting of the caterpillars he can. While he does, Charlie spends his time watching their kids, giggling every so often. Panda keeps getting distracted, incredibly charmed at Charlie’s mounds of affection for the bugs.

Finally, he finishes and is ready to share paintings.

“Okay!” he says, taking a step back to admire his work. Charlie bounds over. He grabs Panda’s arm in excitement once he’s taken in what Panda created.

“Pan Pan!” he shouts, moving Panda’s paw up to his own chest. “This is a masterpiece!”

In the piece, he and Charlie’s arms are in view. They extend across the grass, palm and paw pad touching in the bottom middle of the canvas. Charlie’s hand is clasped over Panda’s paw. The caterpillars are strewn across their arms, two on Panda’s, two on Charlie’s, and one – Catie – crawling up his hand. Margo is, of course, dangling off of the side of Charlie’s arm. Behind their limbs, a lovely golden, pink, and orange sunset stretches across the sky, bathing their arms in soft light. He wanted to make it as photorealistic as possible, but ultimately his more cartoony style won out. He’s still proud of how it turned out.

Charlie shoves his palm against Panda’s paw, holding them out so he can examine them. Panda’s paw is dwarfed by his hand. Charlie giggles and pulls away.

Panda has almost forgotten about Charlie’s painting and how eager he is to see it. He is enamored by the wide-eyed, glimmery, giddy reaction he’s getting from the man. It’s similar to how he reacted when he gifted him the portrait he made for his art class. Charlie’s happiness makes him feel light and airy.

“You never fail to blow me away with your skill, Pan Pan! You’re so amazing,” Charlie gushes, goofily smiling down at Panda. “Look at our little fellas on our arms. Oh, I can even tell who each one is,” Charlie excitedly continues, pointing out who is who. He gets it right, to Panda’s delight.

“Yeah, that’s right!” Panda says to Charlie who is eagerly looking to him for confirmation. “I’m glad you like it so much.”

“It’s such a sweet little family picture. And you made it look so soft! Look at that sunset. And I gotta say, the contrast of my hand with your tiny paw is mighty cute.”

“Hey!” Panda gasps in mock offense, crossing his arms. “Bears have the biggest paws in the animal kingdom.”

“Doesn’t stop them from being absolutely adorable. And much smaller than my hands,” Charlie says, an affectionate smile spread across his face. He picks up Panda’s paw and fiddles with it. Panda’s stomach flutters at Charlie’s touch.

“Oh, hey! Let me see your painting now!” Panda exclaims. He pulls his paw away and skips over to Charlie’s canvas.

His breath catches in his throat. Painted on the canvas is the gentlest art of himself. Charlie has painted him with an expression of pure elation. His eyes are crinkled shut, his mouth upturned in a wide, teeth baring smile. His cheeks are dusted with a soft pink. His paws are clasped together in front of him. In the corner of the page is a sun beaming rays of light down onto him, a bright blue sky in the background. It’s mediocre art, of course, but it’s adorable. This is more of a masterpiece than what he made. Charlie made him look so… tender.

Charlie puts an arm around him as he continues to examine the work. He can’t take his eyes off of it. He doesn’t even know how he can begin to express to Charlie how _warm_ the piece makes him feel. He loves it.

“Do you like it?” Charlie tentatively asks.

“Charlie…”

He knows if he tries to say anything else, he’ll just stupidly flap his mouth open and shut, so he turns and wraps his arms around Charlie, hugging him tight, smushing his face against his body. Charlie laughs and wraps his arms around Panda, resting his head on top of his. Panda looks so… pretty in the painting. So nice. It’s a compliment he would not be able to derive from words.

“There’s just nothing prettier than your smile, Pan Pan! And sometimes it can be hard to catch a smile from you. Can’t think of something more meaningful to me than your smile!”

Panda pulls away from the hug and meets Charlie’s eyes. He knows he has a silly grin on his face, but he can’t even be self-conscious. He’s shocked someone could be so fond of him. His heart is swarming with love. He is so in love with Charlie.

Charlie is looking down at him with a look that might express his fondness even more than the painting did. He looks beautiful. Nothing is prettier than Charlie’s smile, too. Their bodies are still pressed together from the hug. Panda looks at Charlie’s lips and his mind reels. He could lean in and kiss him right now. He wants to. Charlie would kiss him back, he thinks. Charlie would gladly lean into it, deepen the kiss, he thinks. They would both have one of the most passionate moments of their lives, he thinks.

But he instead pulls away. He can’t do it, he isn’t ready. It’s too overwhelming.

Thankfully, if Charlie realized Panda was having a moment, he didn’t show it. Hopefully he just saw that as a sweet, intimate moment of eye contact. Hopefully.

“I can’t think of anything more meaningful to me than this painting, Charlie,” Panda finally finds words to speak to him. “Thank you.”

“Anything for my Pan Pan,” Charlie warmly says, swallowing Panda in another embrace.


End file.
